My Heart’s Still Racing While The City Sleeps November 9, 2008
Posted by Cai in Army, F.Y.I, Life, Rants, Thoughts.Tags: Army, Life, OCS, Rants
1 comment so far
Thank God, time is passing relatively fast, each day come to a stand still pretty fast. Except for those moments when we were left in our room undisturbed for self study, if anyone caught doing anything else such as surfing facebook will result in a “fun-filled” turn out.
Every morning when my alarm starts making a din at ten minutes past five sharp. When i had to slide out cautiously of my bed avoiding to tear down the mosquito net, my mind will be fantasizing about coming back to bed at the end of the day. Well, i can’t deny the fact that i’m someone who really needs adequate amount of sleep, or it will send me into a panic at the disco grumpy mode.
Anyhow, i’m going back to Pulau Tekong for ten days outfield training tomorrow, hence i’m going to be confined and disconnected from the world for a fortnight. Forget about getting sleep and keeping clean. The last three days will be none stop missions, no time is actually being allocated for rest you see. Browsing through the upcoming schedule, seems like we’re going to have outfield nearly every week. I must conquer my nemesis, somehow i know i must, i must.
I managed to secure a IPPT gold for my service term’s final grade, and it’s monetary, $200 for running my lungs out.
- Pull up – From 6 (BMT) to 12 (CLM Term) to 14 times (Service Term)
- Standing board jump – From 216 (BMT) to 234 cm (CLM Term) to 234cm (Service Term)
- Shuttle run – From 9.9 (BMT) to 10.1 (CLM Term) to 9.7 seconds (Service Term)
- Sit ups – From 50 (BMT) to 48 (CLM Term) to 50 times (Service Term)
- 2.4km run – From 9.42min (BMT) to 9.35min (CLM Term) to 9.19min (Service Term)
(Photo courtesy of Jeremy)
Just in case you’re wondering, while i’m sick of trying to describe, the above picture displays the accommodation officer cadets are given. Individual bed/desk/cupboard/drawers and not to forget an internet enabled desk, yada.
Yep, and Sook Ching have to remind me about the social night which is held on the 17th of Decemeber, when my progress is stucked at zero percent, stagnant, no date! Hello, what made it worst is the fact that it will be a wednesday, and the following day is platoon live firing, hence there won’t be any booking out!
Enough about my rants, i know they are leading nowhere but somehow i just need to vent out my Sunday blues. Time to hit the roads, need to head to Holland Village to buy my field camp nessescities.
Till we meet again mates, adios.
Here We Go Again October 19, 2008
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Whoa, about to leave house and book back into Safti MI for another week of hectic training. Whenever it’s nearing the time to book in, there will be this specific unexplainable emotion rushing through me. I’m not upset or whatsoever, i just, i just, don’t feel that wonderful you see.
Perhaps, i really do miss my civilian life, being able to just drive away to anywhere i like, be it alone or with my friends, get all my thoughts straighten out.
However, all i can recall doing most of my admin time is trying to complete my revision for the test ahead, or writing my compulsory journal, or brainstorming about section operation orders. Despite all the entertainment i brought to camp, like the books i bought and the psp, they are basically collecting dust in my room book shelve. Don’t even mention about having time to sit down and think about my personal stuff, like youknowwhat issues.
While talking to Sydney in the car yesterday , the freedom we used to have came creeping up on us. Poof, then here comes Sunday morning already, when i had to rush finish my Section Operation Orders, write a reflection and study for my Approval of Plan.
Now, who says you don’t have to use your brain during army, when i find myself throwing 1 x smoke grenade constantly to perform an exceptionally well disappearing act to escape out of those complicated situations.
Oh well, at least i have my buddies in my platoon bringing me through, day by day.
My close friends were catching up recently, like a few hours ago, and i realised how blessed i am. Since young till now, i never had much to worry about, finiancially, my studies, even now my army life seems good to most. For example, my papa would pick me up on every book out and send me back to camp ever since BMT phase, and when i come home, my mama would have prepared food for me.
God, if you hear me, i need to let you know i’m really really grateful. Pardon me for not praying regulary, or falling alseep while praying.
Anyhow, if you have not come across the new album by 周杰伦 (the only chinese artist i follow) and the song 回忆的音乐盒 by him, please do. It’s time to change into my penguin set for booking in, so long for now mates.
Such Strong Words October 12, 2008
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Officer’s Creed
I am an officer of the Singapore Arm Forces.
My duty is to lead, to excel, and to overcome.
I lead my man by example.
I answer for their training, morale and discipline.
I must excel in everything I do.
I serve with pride, honor and integrity.
I will overcome my adversity with courage, fortitude and determination.
I dedicate my life to Singapore.
Two weeks at Officer Cadet School (OCS) October 8, 2008
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Hello all,
OCS, perhaps the best leadership school Singapore can offer really. The talks that i attended, whoa totally.
To lead we dare, to excel we will, and to overcome we must.
I was posted to Hotel Wing for my Common Leadership Module (CLM) for the first two weeks. As for now, starting of this week, i’m posted to Serria Wing to serve my service term. Officially, having my two white bars for around three months.
CLM just zoomed past like this and service term comes pounding on my door.
Anyhow, in short, service term is going to be hell hectic, all the hardcore trainings, outfields, live firings and et certa which i don’t think is wise to mention and ponder about for now. Just going to take life, day by day, that’s the best policy i can conclude on.
P.S I got my gold grade for IPPT recently from just a pass grade during BMT. Let’s just hope that i could mantain through out. As for now, my new nemesis, the SOC!
IPPT Result:
- Pull up – From 6 to 12
- Standing board jump – From 216 to 234 cm
- Shuttle run – From 9.9 to 10.1 seconds
- Sit ups – From 50 to 48
- 2.4km run – From 9.42min to 9.35min
Be safe all, i’ll be out this weekend, three more days to book out, book out oh!
Next Phase of Training September 22, 2008
Posted by Cai in F.Y.I, Life, Thoughts.1 comment so far
Comd SAF BMTC wishes you all the best in your future posting.
Your Posting Order is listed below:
1. You are posted to OCS (ARMY WING).
2. Your vocation is OFFICER CADET (CBT).
3. Your are to report to: SAFTI Military Institute, Warrior’s Hall.
Reporting Date/Time: 22/09/2008 at 0700 to 0800 hrs.
Please keep me in your prayers if possible, i really hope i do survive, i really do.
So long civilian world for three whole weeks, i’ll be quick, i promise.
Anyhow, all the best for the rest in whatever vocation you are posted to. Remember to stay hyper positive, though i know it’s really hard, even for myself.
I’ll miss you all, definitely.
Block Leave September 14, 2008
Posted by Cai in F.Y.I, Interesting, Life, Pictures, Thoughts.add a comment
I know i’ve been absent for alittle too long in the scene of wordpress and the apologetic feeling didn’t strike me until she appeared with that frown online, hence i’m actually triggered to find time currently to sit motionless in front of my desktop wordpressing (apparently i’m supposed to be in town already).
It’s really hard to go into detail about the army life because on many occasion i find myself vulnerable to be getting charged and sent to the detention barrack (military jail a.k.a. DB).
F.Y.I DB is horrible and i only heard stories about that God forsaken place. You are actually thrown into a three by three meters cell (nine square meters if you can’t calculate, you know what army does to you) with two more mates. That sums up to three people squeezed up, definitely not an ideal place for claustrophobic pals out there. With addition, you have to eat/sleep/shit there, picture perfect isn’t it? Every morning, there will be this special sandbag physical training, which you must carry a certain load of sand (twenty kilograms i think) and run around the parade square, hohoho.
Graduation from Basic Military Training (BMT) was a rather emotional event for me. Having to complete a twenty four kilometers route march before embarking onto the parade square to have my graduation parade with full battle order (field pack, LBV, helmet and gun), whoa, sense of achievement up one level. It was really nice that my parents took time off to travel down just to put on a jockey camp for their silly son.
Returning home never felt better i swear, your family and that particular soft comfortable bed, simply orgasmic when you fantasize about it during camp hours, totally whoa. Anyhow, when i start my engine ranting about all the nonsensical events that happened throughout the week and all the pain around my body, i could always secretly catch my mama wiping away her tears. Mama, i will not just be strong, but stronger i promise.
Graduating from BMT equates to bidding goodbye to your commanders (you know i love you despite all the crazy punishment you made us went through).
“Pumping position down, down down down (with acceleration), crutches position change, up up up (with acceleration), jumping jacks in position change, eighty counts of twelve, pumping position change, how many days in army already? Learn your lesson already?”
Yes, i’ll definitely remember all these 1x good one. Thank you Platoon Sergent Joe Wee and Sergent Azhar, you two definitely made my BMT an exceptionally memorable one. Orion company, hoo ah!
How can i don’t talk about my close buddies in BMT that encouraged and cheered me up during the darkest moment. For example, when your basha (tent) is at the bottom of the slope and it begins to pour, the very next moment it is flooded, muddy water all over you. I won’t go on and name everyone because the names might just send you into a complete swirl, i know you know who you are, very grateful indeed.
Just in case, if you need to hear more army stories i’ll be more than willingly to entertain you over the starbuck’s coffee table with caramel macchiato.
Anyhow, here comes the block leave that i deserve. Honestly and initially, it has been a frantic panic at the disco, when the parties/gatherings/chill outs/catch ups and et certa engulfs you. At a dilatory pace, they have been dying down and i’m starting to spend more time at home, allowing my physical self to catch up on more sleep and finally give my muscles some breathing space.
The above pictures are taken quite some time ago to celebrate my belated 20th birthday. In case you didn’t know, i spent my birthday in Tekong’s forest (second day of field camp), no one knew about it and i kept mum, telling myself, it’s just another day, live with it and grow up. I know some of you sent your well wishes on that day and deepest apologise if i didn’t reply you. The phone was only returned to me five days later and being a lousy old school phone, loads of messages obviously didn’t came through ):
In conclusion:
- This year’s birthday was devastating horribly unexplainable.
- I’ve actually thought of AWOL-ing (absence without leave) from army.
- Ask me out before my block leave expires, apparently a week from now.
- I need to shop badly and try to at least keep in touch with the current fashion.
- Someone give me advice on the breakout on my face, totally zomgbbq.
- Pray for my next posting, put me somewhere, where i can make a difference to this country’s army.
- I’ve updated my wordpress, yay.
So keep your love locked down, your love locked down.
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First Bookout July 27, 2008
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The feeling of booking out from Tekong back to mainland civilian world Singapore was like being a child on Christmas morning. Although i was only confined for seventeen days, but it felt like forever and much worst when being compared with six months away from home when i was in Adelaide.
I was informed not to mention anything regarding the traininga and rants, yes, i don’t wish to end up being charged. In short, i’m in Orion company’s platoon two section three bed three and the last batch was the most disciplined and fittest in the whole school hence you know the legacy we have to pursuit.
The commanders were much better than i thought, although there were times i felt that they were quite unreasonable. The place i stayed was clean, and it felt like a mega chalet filled with only males, and more males. Infact, till now, i haven even got bitten by a mosquito yet!
Food wise, no complains. After one hard and in your face training, anything placed on the table would be emptied and yes, i’ve learnt not to be picky with what is on the table.
Last but not least, i felt very bless regarding my platoon and especially my section mates. It was still english speaking and if you assume that the polytechnic students all smoke, i would want to correct you. Fyi, my platoon only have around like four smokers? All in all, the people i met are all very fun loving, and most importantly they care for you and don’t mind assisting you when you needed help. /ThankGod
Anyhow, i’m in charged of singing songs for my platoon and don’t look down on that because singing boost the morale okay. If you do have any army song, please please teach me so i can teach my platoon.
My six day field camp will be one day before my birthday and i can just imagine myself digging away, digging my trench, fixing up my basha for sleeping, or trying to get rid of all the weird bugs around me. Best birthday ever? You bet.
Just so you know, my weekend felt liked packed sardines. Had to meet Charissa for brunch at town where i had Subway and KFC, then rush to Holland area for my dental appointment, next would be heading back to town to catch Dark Knight and dinner with my Poly mates, last but not least would be chilling out back at Holland Village’s Wine Tapas with my secondary school mates. Like totally whoa, plus i cabbed everywhere i went, /gasp.
I’m booking in at five in the evening today and it’s only a few hours away. Of course, and i definitely feel pretty upset about it but it’s inevitable. Deal with it Cai, and i’ll see you people the coming weekend.
Violet Hill June 28, 2008
Posted by Cai in F.Y.I, Life, Music, Videos.2 comments
I took my love down to Violet Hill, there we sat in snow.
All that time she was silenced still.
So, if you love me, won’t you let me know?
Holy almightly, eleven more days to enlistment and i’ve yet to prepare anything. Perhaps, i just wanted to avoid the thought and truth that, yes, indeed freedom is going to be a big issue when it comes.
A game, to a game theorist, is any activity in which your prediction of what another person will do affects what you decide to do.
Such games include auctions on ebay, poker, or if you’re cynic like me – men and woman playing the great game of love itself. Many human interactions can be interpreated as battles of wits, like poker. All these interactions came to be described by theorist as “games” and explored using game theory.
Unfortunately, i was least able to manipulate or maybe unlock her fatal attractions using game theory, and eventually the so called only good thing that i thought will keep me going through (especially with serving the country) has to come to a period.
The conversations you had with her was her plain entertaining skills, fyi. Grow up kiddo.
I’m not sure if i am able to keep this wordpress up any longer, but i’ll assure you that the updates will come when time permits on weekends.
Shall end this boring unorganized entry here, you people be safe. You know where to find me, at Violet Hill, goodbye.
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If It Kills Me June 16, 2008
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Hello, tell me you know, tell me you’ve figured me out and perhaps, drop me a sign. Well, if i should be bold, i’d ask you to hold my heart in your hand.
Feeling lost was not jotted down in my initial itinerary for this one month break before enlistment. However, and disappointingly, i often find myself having last minute plans, scrabbling for as much company as i could for the day, finding every opportunity i could to be out, out there.
Have been talking to some adults in the working world, and they all seem to disapprove my decision to go overseas for further studies. Having a place in local university and giving it up to spend two hundred thousand dollars overseas is for the living insane was the idea injected into my cramped up mind. Am i officially back to square one i would like to ask myself, honestly, i still haven made up my mind.
Perhaps the time in army will be good, the one year ten months, surplus amount of time will be just nice for me to make up my faltering mind.
I met up with my friend late last night at dempsey for catching up and talking to her made me think about my current problem. I would not want to say it’s a problem, being single is not a problem, it has become exceptionally normal to me. The amount of personal time i have for myself, the zero commitment and having no authority to report to makes life simply carefree. Yet, there’s always the curious side of me wanting to discover the way back into love again.
Being in love is good isn’t it? There were moments when i questioned about if i ever, ever fell in love, and was it love before, me trying to be a perfectionist holding on, or that irresistible infatuation that i ever so willingly fall into.
Building on honesty, i got to admit i am interested in someone, and there’s this burning desire in me to know her better. But judging on my intuition and being afraid to step into that mine field again, i feel myself backtracking, wait, or is she backtracking? Correction, personally, i still feel like i’m a stranger to her. Well, come on man, give me some credit for my effort at least.
Thinking about the other competitiors that are interested in her, the sour feeling slowly streak up my nerves. Yes yes, who doesn’t want a good girl right? Then i started thinking about where i stand, and often, i find myself waving frantically at the back of the line trying to get some attention.
Twenty three days and counting down to enlistment, perhaps i should just remain silence because obviously it won’t happen.
Out of a sudden, i just miss my sister so much. When i’m in need of sensible opinions, i could just walk to her room and rant all i want. How unfortunate, now all i could do is wordpress this down.
I wish i’m able to snap my fingers, pop back into the real world and quit thinking. I wish i’m able to sip Riesling by the river near North Terrace. I wish i can be out there everyday with my friends eventhough the outings might become more and more aimless. I wish, i wish.
Having used hello to start, it’s now for end with a goodbye. Baby that’s a case of my wishful thinking, you know nothing, you know nothing.
P.S Pardon the random thoughts, lack of organization and grammatical errors. I simply wrote what came to mind.
Question, why do Janice still hover through my line of thoughts at times, why?
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Don’t Look Back In Anger May 22, 2008
Posted by Cai in F.Y.I, Life, Music, Rants, Thoughts, Videos.2 comments
And so, Sally can wait.
She knows it’s too late as we’re walking on by.
Her soul slides away.
But don’t look back in anger i heard you say.
Yes, officially down to eight more days to the end of this non ideal job experience.
Regarding the distribution of flyers misery, it’s really unfortunate that i had to eventually give into it because i simply have no idea how to say no, and what would Jesus do (W.W.J.D.) constantly knocks on my vulnerable heart.
Initially, i had a really tedious/tough time approaching strangers around the neighborhood childcare/kindergarten/schools but eventually, things started to pick up. The eye contact, followed by a smile, approaching your target, and then the greetings are the basic steps.
Reflecting on this experience, there’s actually a learning point. For an example, i realised there are three type of people on the streets.
- People who are sociable – They smile and say thank you, and some even went to the extend of the chatting mode.
- People who are shy – They try to avoid eye contact initially until you appear right infront of them, and there’s no way out.
- People who are $#@$%^ – They just walk pass you like you’re transparent even if you tried to say hello to engage them.
Anyhow, yep, i have to go to some primary school to give flyers in a few moments.
Regarding my further education, i had a showdown with my parents on Vesak Day. After laying down all my playable cards on the table for my parents to offer me a better opinion/suggestion, they decided that i ought to just take a double/dual degree overseas. Built on simple assumption, having a single degree will become a norm in near future.
Sidetracking, my papa said something that made me tear/touched.
Even if i do have to make more sacrifices, i’ll do my best to offer you the best.
Despite the silent car rides at times, and being a man of few words, my papa never fails to amaze me in every single little way. I love you papa, i really really do.
Meanwhile, i’ll be holding onto my SMU’s Business Management place till i find a suitable overseas univerisity that will provide me with a quality certified dual degree programme. However all i’m afraid of is the return of investment (R.O.I.), how long will i take to earn back that amount of money spent and will it be worthed it?
Only God knows what my plans will be eventually.
Till the next update, so long for now.
P.S Glory Manchester United, i almost died during the penalties, really.
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